If being perfect was going to work for you, last year would have been THE year for it to work its magic. But, that’s not what happened, was it?
I bet you discovered doubling down on control, putting your head down, and doing everything asked of you with a smile, amidst a global pandemic and civil unrest, wasn’t a good strategy. I’m sure it didn’t soothe your burnout, worry, or anxiety.
And yes, power is shifting. There’s a hopeful feeling there’s relief on the “other side.”
But here’s my gentle reality check for you:
We’re not going back to that life. And that’s a good thing.
Different politicians in power aren’t going to bring life back to so-called normal. And the “other side” is much farther off than you’re hoping.
And, this all means you have a huge opportunity here.
What’s been normalized over the years has upheld hustle culture, burnout, and systems of oppression. And perfectionism has been at the forefront.
Perfectionism is the ultimate survival mechanism. It orients us to fear and every behavior is about not getting in trouble, not getting it wrong, and not rocking the boat. So instead of your innate, internal brilliance calling the shots, you’ve been steered by external oppressive systems to keep you “safe”. But, as the last year(s) have shown us, those systems are NOT helping.
I’d say we’re due for some boat rocking, wouldn’t you? And, that’s exactly what you can expect every month from the Perfectionist Deep Dive a free virtual immersive series designed to begin extracting you from perfectionism.
Join us via Zoom on Saturday, January 23rd, 12pm EST / 11am CST / 9am PST for this month’s Perfectionist Deep Dive: Ditch the Drama
This is a live event and will not be recorded.
This month we’re going to explore how the truth is scary as hell and how perfectionism convinces us that we can’t be with the truth.
The truth that is scary as hell is not always the truth about a pandemic or a violent insurrection. The things that scare us are often mundane. But our bodies react the same way.
Sometimes the truth is:
- You’re more comfortable avoiding making hard decisions than actually deciding.
- You’re more comfortable staying in overwhelm.
- You’re more comfortable as a workaholic.
- You’re more comfortable blowing things up than addressing the pieces that aren’t working.
- You’re more comfortable lamenting about reality than engaging and changing it.
- You’re more comfortable hearing the truth you want to believe than the actual truth.
Can you understand how this creates a problem not only on an individual level but on a collective level, too?
When I say comfortable, I mean our bodies are habituated to the habit of overwhelm and avoidance and denial. Comfortable = habitual. Our systems don’t know what it is to do anything different. Our system has been trained that the comfortable and “right” way is worry, the “right” way is overwhelm, and the “right” way is avoidance.
And then we judge ourselves harshly for what we do or don’t do and pile guilt on top of it all.
I see this in myself, I see this in my clients, and I see this in my community. And it’s not our fault. We’ve been trained throughout our lives that it’s better to suck it up, say we’re fine, and not become an inconvenience to anyone.
And it doesn’t work. And it doesn’t create the systemic change we so desperately need.
Building fortitude and unvelcroing from perfectionism is what this next year will require of all of us. It’s going to take the right tools (and I’ll be here to teach you). It’s going to require a combination of self-care, collective care, and engagement. And we can all take take turns.
Join me this Saturday the 23rd for January’s free Perfectionist Deep Dive: Ditch the Drama at 12pm EST / 11am CST / 9am PST. I’ll talk about the pendulum swing from overwhelm to avoidance, the drama it creates, and what it looks like to break that cycle. This event won’t be recorded.
The truth is scary as hell AND you’re going to be okay.
Grab your seat now, invite a few friends, and let’s ditch the drama. We’re not going back.